What do my idols mean?

I just realized that some of my favorite musicians are a bit messed up. Seeing as one of my favorite people in the world is James Owen Sullivan, The Rev from Avenged Sevenfold, hes not really "messed up" per say though he is dead and it he may very well have committed suicide. Another one of my very favorite people is Brian Hugh Warner, Marilyn Manson. He isn't really messed up, in my mind though everyone perceives him as being so. He is just a unique artist. None the less hes not exactly quite acceptable in society. Though I love them both. I have had the same view on life as Jimmy since I was about 14 or maybe 13 years old. Well the view reflected in the video Fiction. Which is basically saying, to me (Seeing as art speaks differently to everyone) that life, for Jimmy at least, was just very difficult. It is a hard thing and was based basically around making others happy because he himself could not be. Of course in the song he is saying that hes done all he can in his life and others and now he is to end his suffering and that now all the pain will go away for him and that in death he will find happiness. Which speaks to me for personal reasons that I'm not going to get into now. Oh, and of course that he doesn't want anyone to be sad about his death because he is in a better place and that they can all make it without him. Which of course is absolutely beautiful. I just wish he didn't die after soon after he wrote it. I would have loved to talk with him about it. I actually would like to become a Psychologist and I feel like the more I learn the more I can help others as well as myself because I know I'm not psychologically well either.

Out of the Cloest and into the World

I'm addressing a a few things here. Well the obvious one is what the title implies. For all my social networking cites I'm putting my orientation as 'gay' as most put it. That is because I prefer girls to boys. normally I would have put that I'm bi because I am but there are way to may girls that say they're bi when they aren't they just say they are for attention. I on the other hand don't want male attention, like they're trying to get. Apparently liking girls is attractive... I don't see why honestly. I mean I do like gay guys but only because they are sweet and aren't flirting with me. They're just being nice. Not to mention they're much cleaner and less perverted most of the time. Not to mention I don't want to date a Bi girl. The ones I've met are the "popular" girls in my school and they are anything but nice. I'm not trying to offend all bi girls because I am one and I know there are more that are more like me then the ones I know. I would love to meet you if you are... ♥Thank you for reading ♥

Online personalities

Has anyone else noticed that people are different online then in real life. I don't mean visually. I mean there are a butt load of perverts all over the internet but could you imagine meeting the offline? I'm willing to bet any money that they won't be as rude, obnoxious, and perverted as they were online. Just because you meet someone online doesn't mean they want what you got. Really like me, personally, I don't. I'll admit guys are the worst but girls do it too. Believe me, I've had a few girls be the same way. In person though, people are nothing like that. That makes me wonder if like my best friend could be one of those freaks. Of course not my BEST friend, I stalk him so I would know... But that is another story, for another time... another post. Anyway, I'm just saying you're boyfriend/girlfriend could do that! You wouldn't know! I mean I know a guy who does it. Though he is pretty nice... Still flirting with random girls and being all dirty even on the internet is cheating. It's just not right. Being disrespectful like that isn't right either. It just makes me feel like the internet is filled with nothing but nasty perverts. I really hope that isn't true because the internet wasn't made for corruption like this...