What do my idols mean?

I just realized that some of my favorite musicians are a bit messed up. Seeing as one of my favorite people in the world is James Owen Sullivan, The Rev from Avenged Sevenfold, hes not really "messed up" per say though he is dead and it he may very well have committed suicide. Another one of my very favorite people is Brian Hugh Warner, Marilyn Manson. He isn't really messed up, in my mind though everyone perceives him as being so. He is just a unique artist. None the less hes not exactly quite acceptable in society. Though I love them both. I have had the same view on life as Jimmy since I was about 14 or maybe 13 years old. Well the view reflected in the video Fiction. Which is basically saying, to me (Seeing as art speaks differently to everyone) that life, for Jimmy at least, was just very difficult. It is a hard thing and was based basically around making others happy because he himself could not be. Of course in the song he is saying that hes done all he can in his life and others and now he is to end his suffering and that now all the pain will go away for him and that in death he will find happiness. Which speaks to me for personal reasons that I'm not going to get into now. Oh, and of course that he doesn't want anyone to be sad about his death because he is in a better place and that they can all make it without him. Which of course is absolutely beautiful. I just wish he didn't die after soon after he wrote it. I would have loved to talk with him about it. I actually would like to become a Psychologist and I feel like the more I learn the more I can help others as well as myself because I know I'm not psychologically well either.

BOTDF Mom

Okay so I'm a big Blood on the Dance Floor fan and so I watch a lot of things about them. I watched one video and found the most amazing comment about BOTDF being banned or kicked out of the warped tour... Here it is "I am a mother of a 15 year old who attended Warp Tour with her I love BOTDF. Where can I sign a petition for the band to stay on tour? I would love to know why these parents are allowed to drop off their 11 year old children anywhere let alone a concert! In most states you cannot even leave them home alone! I bet those girls weren't being so innocent that day and got busted or scared so they now have a story at someone else expense! my best wishes to BOTDF .....Jess's Mom" I thought it was the most amazing thing in the world. Rarely ever do you see a mother stick up for her child's music and support their musical interest. Heck my mom doesn't really support much that I do. She is to close minded and set in her ways but this mom was totally open to her daughter's interests. I would love a mom like that. Some people may find it embarrassing but let me tell you I'd do anything to have a mom that was that way. So Jess you are one lucky girl. Anyway I just thought that was absolutely amazing! I thought I'd share it with everyone and maybe it is something moms can learn from. As long as you're open to things like this I think you and your child will have a better relationship. The most you can do is try and my advice is to try because like I said if I had a mom like that I think I'd be in heaven. I wouldn't mind going to any concert with my mom as long as she liked it with me. Maybe that is just me though? Well I don't think it is.

What lies Beneath the Surface

Many people judge others on things as simple as their outer appearance or how they may dress. In reality how people dress and who they really are have nothing to do with each other. I have seen people that scare me and I would typically expect them to be rude or scary. When in reality they were the sweetest person in the world. For example a Youtuber named Blake Bliss. If I just simply saw him I would think he was going to be rude and scary. I think everyone's mind just immediately processes people a certain way. There isn't much you can do about that itself but you can give these people who may look unpleasant the benefit of the doubt. Using Blake as an example again Blake Bliss is the most kind, gentle, caring person I have ever seen on youtube. He literally cares about all of the people that watch his videos. I love his personality so much and I have never even met him. The point is the people that you wouldn't normally talk to because they may seem a little different are sometimes the most amazing people to be around. You never really know until you actually meet ans talk to them. That goes for the other way around as well. You may think, wow this guy/girl looks amazing but in reality they could be so rude and obnoxious. I'm not saying the people are the opposite of what you think of them, I'm saying you should really get to know someone before you really decide if you want to be their friend. You never know, people may surprise you. I know I was surprised a few times. I know this is a message most people think they already know but I don't think many people actually do this. They may claim they do but they really don't or at least the people I have seen don't. I think it is something we should all do more often though. Thank you for your time. And if you were wondering who Blake Bliss is I'll show you one of his Videos: Blake Bliss-Beyond Bliss(Day24) <<< It is amazing, you can click it to see it. CLICK IT!

Why Teenagers DON'T tell their parents everything

Just to tell anyone who may not know. If you haven't read my blog before I am a teenager and I know this title may not apply to everyone's parents but in most cases it does. Parents say they want to know everything but what they don't know is that parents, like children, have to gain trust. If a child tells their parent something and they flip out on them instead of talking to them rationally or if they handle simply situations poorly children won't be comfortable telling their parents things. This applies to any topic or field of conversation. If they are trying to tell you they are dating someone you don't like and you flip out, they will carry that into other topics such as drugs and peer pressure as well. In my case my mother never seems to really care about the words that escape my lips. I will tell her about an celebrity idol I have and she never seems to care or really listen. I remember that and just decide not to tell her things. Not just things about my idols but also things about what happen to me in my day to day life. For example, who I'm dating and things that happened that day even if they are important. And its not because I have anything to hide, it is because well she didn't want to know about me then and she probably won't now either. Another place where parents need to let children speak is during arguments. Most parents get mad and just basically tell their children to shut up when actually they may have some valid points that you didn't think of. Parents need to understand that they are only human to and that their children have a good level of intelligence as well. Despite what parents might think you didn't teach them EVERY thing they know so you don't know everything about them, no matter how much it is you know.

Out of the Cloest and into the World

I'm addressing a a few things here. Well the obvious one is what the title implies. For all my social networking cites I'm putting my orientation as 'gay' as most put it. That is because I prefer girls to boys. normally I would have put that I'm bi because I am but there are way to may girls that say they're bi when they aren't they just say they are for attention. I on the other hand don't want male attention, like they're trying to get. Apparently liking girls is attractive... I don't see why honestly. I mean I do like gay guys but only because they are sweet and aren't flirting with me. They're just being nice. Not to mention they're much cleaner and less perverted most of the time. Not to mention I don't want to date a Bi girl. The ones I've met are the "popular" girls in my school and they are anything but nice. I'm not trying to offend all bi girls because I am one and I know there are more that are more like me then the ones I know. I would love to meet you if you are... ♥Thank you for reading ♥

Online personalities

Has anyone else noticed that people are different online then in real life. I don't mean visually. I mean there are a butt load of perverts all over the internet but could you imagine meeting the offline? I'm willing to bet any money that they won't be as rude, obnoxious, and perverted as they were online. Just because you meet someone online doesn't mean they want what you got. Really like me, personally, I don't. I'll admit guys are the worst but girls do it too. Believe me, I've had a few girls be the same way. In person though, people are nothing like that. That makes me wonder if like my best friend could be one of those freaks. Of course not my BEST friend, I stalk him so I would know... But that is another story, for another time... another post. Anyway, I'm just saying you're boyfriend/girlfriend could do that! You wouldn't know! I mean I know a guy who does it. Though he is pretty nice... Still flirting with random girls and being all dirty even on the internet is cheating. It's just not right. Being disrespectful like that isn't right either. It just makes me feel like the internet is filled with nothing but nasty perverts. I really hope that isn't true because the internet wasn't made for corruption like this...

Eyes Closed

I close my eyes for what seems like a moment but when I wake up I find I've been out for days. I lost my best friends. All my feelings are gone... I have to cut it off. Leave, like I always do. They hate me. They all do and I can't blame them I hate me too. I always leave. It's not that I have to it is just that I automatically detach myself. I feel like I don't have control anymore. I feel like my mind pushes people away with out my okay, with out me even knowing. By the time I realize it all it's to late and there is nothing left. I just wait, for someone who can change that, for someone who can fix me. I feel like I really am broken, my mind is broken. From years of abandonment. They come and leave as suddenly as they came. I got hurt so many times from them that I push away before anyone else can hurt me. I don't try to. I want to love forever I want to stay close but I can't there is something in me that won't let me. I hate it and it hurts the ones I love... I just wish I could control what ever is doing this to me... I wish I could control myself.

What others think

I think teenagers spend to much of their life on trying to impress others when they should just be finding out what makes THEM happy. Personally I know that it is true because I see my friends do it, I see people at school do it, and I have done this as well. In reality we will all eventually find out that it doesn't matter what others think of you and it never has and never will. I'm afraid that some people find this out much to late and waste so much time just trying to please people that will never like you no matter what you do. I know its not just me because if that wasn't the case make up wouldn't be so popular and those tight, revealing, and/or uncomfortable clothes wouldn't either. Personally, I do where make up sometimes but only when I'm bored and do it to make myself happy with how I look. If I did it to impress others my mom wouldn't look at me like I had ten heads every time I put an outfit together. I don't look 'sexy' and I don't want to. I look crazy, weird and like myself and that is exactly how I want to look. I just wish other people could realize that you should just be yourself, not just in personality but in every aspect of yourself. I understand you want to fit in but don't you want people to like you for who you are as well? I know I do. I'd rather have three friends that like me for me then a thousand that like me for who I pretend to be. This is me and you are you and if you don't like me there is nothing you can do. I will never change and neither should you.