School

I know I've been gone for a while, honestly its a school thing. I hate school, well besides the learning that is, but I have to go and I have to graduate. The only thing that really concerns me is what I'm going to do after I'm done with school. I just don't know where I'll go or what I'll do. Its kind of a sinking feeling. Sure I'm not stupid but I'm no genius either. I want to start planning my future but I just don't know where to being. I don't know how adults did it. I guess its time to ask my mom some questions. After her boyfriend leaves of course. BLEH!

I know this was probably boring and I apologize, I just hope I'm not the only one stressing about this. Everyone else in my school either has everything planned or they don't care... Well at least if you're reading this and are going through this, you know you aren't alone. You are never alone ♥

BOTDF Mom

Okay so I'm a big Blood on the Dance Floor fan and so I watch a lot of things about them. I watched one video and found the most amazing comment about BOTDF being banned or kicked out of the warped tour... Here it is "I am a mother of a 15 year old who attended Warp Tour with her I love BOTDF. Where can I sign a petition for the band to stay on tour? I would love to know why these parents are allowed to drop off their 11 year old children anywhere let alone a concert! In most states you cannot even leave them home alone! I bet those girls weren't being so innocent that day and got busted or scared so they now have a story at someone else expense! my best wishes to BOTDF .....Jess's Mom" I thought it was the most amazing thing in the world. Rarely ever do you see a mother stick up for her child's music and support their musical interest. Heck my mom doesn't really support much that I do. She is to close minded and set in her ways but this mom was totally open to her daughter's interests. I would love a mom like that. Some people may find it embarrassing but let me tell you I'd do anything to have a mom that was that way. So Jess you are one lucky girl. Anyway I just thought that was absolutely amazing! I thought I'd share it with everyone and maybe it is something moms can learn from. As long as you're open to things like this I think you and your child will have a better relationship. The most you can do is try and my advice is to try because like I said if I had a mom like that I think I'd be in heaven. I wouldn't mind going to any concert with my mom as long as she liked it with me. Maybe that is just me though? Well I don't think it is.

Why Teenagers DON'T tell their parents everything

Just to tell anyone who may not know. If you haven't read my blog before I am a teenager and I know this title may not apply to everyone's parents but in most cases it does. Parents say they want to know everything but what they don't know is that parents, like children, have to gain trust. If a child tells their parent something and they flip out on them instead of talking to them rationally or if they handle simply situations poorly children won't be comfortable telling their parents things. This applies to any topic or field of conversation. If they are trying to tell you they are dating someone you don't like and you flip out, they will carry that into other topics such as drugs and peer pressure as well. In my case my mother never seems to really care about the words that escape my lips. I will tell her about an celebrity idol I have and she never seems to care or really listen. I remember that and just decide not to tell her things. Not just things about my idols but also things about what happen to me in my day to day life. For example, who I'm dating and things that happened that day even if they are important. And its not because I have anything to hide, it is because well she didn't want to know about me then and she probably won't now either. Another place where parents need to let children speak is during arguments. Most parents get mad and just basically tell their children to shut up when actually they may have some valid points that you didn't think of. Parents need to understand that they are only human to and that their children have a good level of intelligence as well. Despite what parents might think you didn't teach them EVERY thing they know so you don't know everything about them, no matter how much it is you know.

Daddy Issues

I miss him so much... And by him I don't mean a lover. I mean someone who was like a father to me. I just hate how people can just up and leave. It makes me feel worthless and stupid. Not only that but it seems like it permanently damages my emotional state. I feel like I can't get close to anyone with out expecting them to just up and leave. It has lead to a hand full of trust issues I don't know how to deal with. Maybe I need counseling but even then how would the treatment go without them there. I act like nothing is wrong when in reality I know there is but I also know I can't fix it and doubt anyone else can either. That is why I don't usually complain about it unless given a reason too. Maybe these Daddy Issues are what is making me so confused about everything in life. Maybe I'm just messed up. I don't know, and I may live my life never knowing, pushing all my feelings and needs back. Honestly it wouldn't surprise me if I did. It feels like all my life my need for stability has been neglected. My situations just jump all over the place, where I live, who I live with, who loves me. None of that ever stays the same for too long and it feels like I don't either... I guess my point is, people, don't abandon the ones who love you, even if you are mad at them. It could scar them for life and every bad situation gets better if you are mad at them. Especially parents, your children expect you to be one of the few people in their life that will be there for them. Even teenagers, we count on you to always be there for us and we love you. A child's love for their parent is one of the strongest loves I have ever experienced. Even if they aren't willing to admit it they need you, the ones that love you need you... (Song to explain how I feel right now)