Dahvie Vanity

Okay so here is where I will tell you what I know about Dahvie Vanity from the band Blood on the Dance Floor! Okay so his full/real name is Jesus Dahvie Torres. His parents are from Puerto Rico but he was born in Fort Bragg, North Carolina. Though he was born in North Carolina he was raised in Florida.Growing up he was bullied and called fat and so he let that hate inspire him and he worked out and became who his is now because of it. That is one reason he has the saying, let the haters hate or what ever it may be. He teaches his audience not to listen to what people say or to turn the negative comments into productive criticism like he did when he was younger. His parents were also in the Military. His eyes are hazel green and he is 5'7"(5 feet, 7 inches). Oh and he was born September 5th, so if you want to give him a gift or something. On top all that his girlfriend died and so in honor of her he made the song Believe. It is an amazing song and it makes me want to cry especially knowing the story behind the whole thing. Oh and a random fact: He likes Chicken... A lot apparently. :3 I found this all... well almost all on a video but I don't quite remember how to find it so I'm afraid I can't link it here. 

Anyway! Thank you for reading! ♥

Daddy Issues

I miss him so much... And by him I don't mean a lover. I mean someone who was like a father to me. I just hate how people can just up and leave. It makes me feel worthless and stupid. Not only that but it seems like it permanently damages my emotional state. I feel like I can't get close to anyone with out expecting them to just up and leave. It has lead to a hand full of trust issues I don't know how to deal with. Maybe I need counseling but even then how would the treatment go without them there. I act like nothing is wrong when in reality I know there is but I also know I can't fix it and doubt anyone else can either. That is why I don't usually complain about it unless given a reason too. Maybe these Daddy Issues are what is making me so confused about everything in life. Maybe I'm just messed up. I don't know, and I may live my life never knowing, pushing all my feelings and needs back. Honestly it wouldn't surprise me if I did. It feels like all my life my need for stability has been neglected. My situations just jump all over the place, where I live, who I live with, who loves me. None of that ever stays the same for too long and it feels like I don't either... I guess my point is, people, don't abandon the ones who love you, even if you are mad at them. It could scar them for life and every bad situation gets better if you are mad at them. Especially parents, your children expect you to be one of the few people in their life that will be there for them. Even teenagers, we count on you to always be there for us and we love you. A child's love for their parent is one of the strongest loves I have ever experienced. Even if they aren't willing to admit it they need you, the ones that love you need you... (Song to explain how I feel right now)

Eyes Closed

I close my eyes for what seems like a moment but when I wake up I find I've been out for days. I lost my best friends. All my feelings are gone... I have to cut it off. Leave, like I always do. They hate me. They all do and I can't blame them I hate me too. I always leave. It's not that I have to it is just that I automatically detach myself. I feel like I don't have control anymore. I feel like my mind pushes people away with out my okay, with out me even knowing. By the time I realize it all it's to late and there is nothing left. I just wait, for someone who can change that, for someone who can fix me. I feel like I really am broken, my mind is broken. From years of abandonment. They come and leave as suddenly as they came. I got hurt so many times from them that I push away before anyone else can hurt me. I don't try to. I want to love forever I want to stay close but I can't there is something in me that won't let me. I hate it and it hurts the ones I love... I just wish I could control what ever is doing this to me... I wish I could control myself.