This is a Blog full of my inner most thoughts and opinions. Some times there are deeper then others, its just how my mind works.

Friday, May 11, 2012

Songs to Dance to

I can barely ever find any songs to dance to. I guess I'm just picky about what I dance to, though I have found a few I can dance to. I'll name a few for you.
Miyavi- Gigpig Boogie
Miyavi - Are you ready to rock
Falling In Reverse
Miyavi - Selfish Love

Only songs I can think of.

Monday, May 7, 2012

If I was a Man

I think that If I had a penis I'd make a much better dude than most. I mean I'd probably make a better boy than I do a girl seeing as I know some amazing girls that I could totally get if I had a penis or would want more. Though of course I don't have a penis nor do I want one, I think it'd be awkward but being a boy seems so much easier. Girls are so much nicer. Well at least the ones I meet are. All around me girls are getting screwed over by jerks. UGH I just want them to feel better. :/ If only I was a guy, first I'd make sure those jerks didn't hurt my friends ever again then I'd show them how to be a real damn man!

What do my idols mean?

I just realized that some of my favorite musicians are a bit messed up. Seeing as one of my favorite people in the world is James Owen Sullivan, The Rev from Avenged Sevenfold, hes not really "messed up" per say though he is dead and it he may very well have committed suicide. Another one of my very favorite people is Brian Hugh Warner, Marilyn Manson. He isn't really messed up, in my mind though everyone perceives him as being so. He is just a unique artist. None the less hes not exactly quite acceptable in society. Though I love them both. I have had the same view on life as Jimmy since I was about 14 or maybe 13 years old. Well the view reflected in the video Fiction. Which is basically saying, to me (Seeing as art speaks differently to everyone) that life, for Jimmy at least, was just very difficult. It is a hard thing and was based basically around making others happy because he himself could not be. Of course in the song he is saying that hes done all he can in his life and others and now he is to end his suffering and that now all the pain will go away for him and that in death he will find happiness. Which speaks to me for personal reasons that I'm not going to get into now. Oh, and of course that he doesn't want anyone to be sad about his death because he is in a better place and that they can all make it without him. Which of course is absolutely beautiful. I just wish he didn't die after soon after he wrote it. I would have loved to talk with him about it. I actually would like to become a Psychologist and I feel like the more I learn the more I can help others as well as myself because I know I'm not psychologically well either.

Marilyn Manson

This one is about the MAN behind the name not the band. I'll make one about the band too though.
Marilyn Manson, real name Brian Hugh Warner. Lets clear up a few things about Manson now, shall we. No he does not tear apart animals at his concerts. No he didn't remove his lower ribs to suck his own... well the people who know the rumor know what comes next. He simply chose to do what others were to afraid to and in response people who didn't like him made up lies so others would not like him either. Yes he is a bit dark and twisted though thats part of his art. He actually has a new album out now. I've heard a few songs on it, its amazing so far. Its called Born Villain and if you like his kind of music you should definitely buy it, or at least look into it. Oh and another rumor that is 100% not true. He does NOT warship the devil, nor has he ever. He was actually raised in a religious family, went to a catholic school. Though probably because religion was forced down his throat he chose to resist it and that is how he has become known as Antichrist. Which I see nothing wrong with there are thousands maybe millions of people out there that don't believe in God and even more who are unsure about god and the whole concept. Brian is an artist and he also has his own wine, which is pretty strong from what I hear. He is 43 this year as of March I believe. Brian urges people to express themselves in anyway they feel they want, as long as it isn't hurting others around them, there is nothing wrong with expressing yourself. Though it seems that the public's general view on him has actually been messing with his mind, which honestly is no surprise to me. Imagine bullying on a practically national scale and no one doing anything about it. I believe that is what he has endured, not only the pressure of the public. I don't have much time now so I'll end here.

Here are a few pictures for you

Rant (First relationships)

-This is to one of my close friend's ex's who is obviously an idiot [WARNING: There is profanity in here, I use it when angered]-

How stupid and selfish do you have to fucken be?! Even a moron knows that when a sweet innocent girl has her first boyfriend she doesn’t KNOW how to act around him yet. She doesn’t know what to do. Life is a learning experience, what YOU teach HER or you learn together is all she knows. You have to be the biggest loser who has ever disgraced human kind that I have ever met. If you didn’t want to help her through her first relationship that STILL doesn’t give you any right to call her the worse girlfriend you’ve ever had you idiotic, worthless, senseless asshole. You leave her the FUCK alone. If you want to be a dick, do so to someone who deserves it. All she has EVER done was love you! She didn’t cheat on you, she didn’t insult you, she had nothing but nice things to say about you until you decided to turn on her. You were her first boyfriend, honestly how did you except her to act? You expect it to be hard wired into her brain?! If you wanted a whore, you shouldn’t have dated her. If you don’t know how the fuck to treat a woman you shouldn’t be dating let alone calling yourself a man. I think YOU have more to learn and more blame here then she could possibly have. Don’t you dare insult HER when you were ten times worse. My first boyfriend cheated on me 3 different times and he still knew more about how to treat a girl then you probably EVER will! And further more if you want to insult her do it to her face not over the phone you coward! Do it to her damn face so then she can come to me and I can get to you because I would have went off on you. Want to know the saddest part. I’m an even tempered person and making me mad is hard to do. DON’T FUCKEN PRESS MY DAMN BUTTONS YOU SORRY EXCUSE FOR A MAN! Learn how to treat a woman, learn how to be a damn man before you go around insulting people, and people who don’t deserve it at that.

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Love For Teenagers

When you're young, like I am. You have to learn to make the best of your time. These days people get so caught up in their relationships. They put everything, emotionally into it. Then when it doesn't work they break down. I know, I've been there. I think that yes you should put emotion and care into any relationship and yes even at a young age you should have a relationship. It teaches you things you need to know and they are easier to learn earlier in life. The problem is the break down even children feel after the relationship has ended. They take on emotional stress, more than anyone their age should have to handle. The worst part is if they have to handle it alone. I know this from experience. I've had it go both ways. I've had to deal with the end of a relationship alone and it was horrible. It was still horrible the time I had people there for me but it was much less so. The point there is that you should help people who are hurting. Even in the smallest of ways, it will mean the world to them, like those things meant to me. Now I try to stay strong and be myself through everything. I think that is a smart thing to do, I admit it isn't easy but it hurts so much less if you do. I just can't be completely dependent on the person I'm with, I know it sounds easy but for a lot of people its not and it took me a long time to do. Anyone can do it though. They aren't everything, you don't need them, you can find someone else. There are billions of people in the world to chose from, you don't need the one that makes you suffer, they aren't worth it. I promise you. My point in this is to tell you that you have to stay strong and keep your composure through everything, or try, don't get caught up in things like I used to. For example I promised myself I wouldn't let my boyfriend make me cry, and I won't because I promised. I do love him though, I just need to keep that boundary so I can keep my strength. Its all about what YOU need to work on, this is what I need to help me. What do you need to help you get through the trials of life? The trials so many struggle and suffer through.

Saturday, March 3, 2012

What happens to sheltered kids, and its NOT good

I'm going to talk about parents, again. I have an over protective mom so I'm pretty sure I know what I'm talking about because I'm talking from the kids point of view here. Over protective parents THINK they're doing whats best but teenagers that are locked in their house all the time are just bound to make those mistakes they would have made as a teenager if they had their freedom, as soon as they’re free. We have to make those mistakes and learn from them sometime, its better earlier than later because it can go slow and the parents can regulate it one thing at a time so nothing gets to out of control and no one gets hurt, when we’re free we’ll go crazy and do everything we wanted to do, we’ll do it all at once and it will be chaos and can lead to us being hurt, it can put us in danger, or even kill us. I’m aware of that but I think its worth the risks to do what I’ve always wanted to do but never could. None of those desires go away, they just build up and make life itself unbearable. I’m going to do all those things I should have been able to do when I was younger, even if it kills me. Whats the point of living an existence I'm not proud of, one I didn't enjoy? I see no reason that is why I'd rather die than live and never do anything with my life and I know that I'm not the only person like this. I may be the only person really thinking intensely about it but I'm not the only one thinking it. So if you are a parent then please let your children have some freedom. Be there for them when they need you and don't make things to hard on them. You want them to trust and love you but still be able to listen to you. I know what you want but no one seems to know how to get it. You have to TRUST your children for them to trust you, trust is mutual. Not letting them do anything or go anywhere makes them think you don't trust them, keeps them sheltered for the real world. Then when the real world comes to them they won't know how to handle it, they won't know what to do and that leads to bad things, very bad things. I would know, I'm a teenager myself. I've seen it in a small scale and I can barely handle it like that. I won't know what to do in the real world and I know that.